Funny wife SMS, funny text messages & jokes about husband, wife vs husband funny question-answer SMS okes

Wife : Where did you get these lipstick spots?

Husband : I am amazed myself where how I got these spots ?
I was not wearing shirt at that time : )

Wife to Husband : I don't have any child, I have decided to give all my wealth to some Sadhu..
After hearing this, husband stood up...
Wife : What happened to you, where are you going?

Husband : To become a Sadhu !

wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing

wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

Wife to Husband : I am the book of your life...
Husband : This is what I regret...

If you were a calender then could have changed one every year !

Wife Saw Sign Board:
Nylon Saree
Rs.8/-
Cotton Saree
Rs.5/-
Banarsi Saree
Rs.10/-

Wife: Give me Rs.500 I’ll buy 50 Sarees.

Husband: You dumbo.. its a laundry shop !!

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?"

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling, it means :-
With Idiot For Ever

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it's only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further
M0ral: always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage??
Wife remains silent.....

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De....

Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, "Koun Thi Wo?"
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi

Husband: Today is sunday &
I have to enjoy it.

So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.

Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 4.O bunty k pappa
Yr 5.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6.Tum aate ho k main aaon?

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second